John Brookes & Matthew Stradling, Jason's friends since school
Eulogy III
[John]
First off, I’d like to thank Jason’s family for giving me the opportunity to
say a few words today, and for inviting all of us along to remember Jason and
also to celebrate his life. It really is appreciated and I’m sure all our
thoughts are with you.
I’m not all that used to speaking at public occasions like this - as you’re all
about to find out - and there’s a certain irony that the last time I did speak
was around 5 years ago at my own wedding, and I recognise a few faces here today
from that occasion. Of course, the key difference then – as well as it being in
very different circumstances – was that my own ramblings as bridegroom were
followed up by what many people agreed was a really fine speech by my best man…
one Jason McCreight.
I mention this for a reason, not just because I have particularly happy memories
of that day, and of Jason at that time, but also because his speech that day
summed up Jason very well. Best man’s speeches are traditionally a cause of
concern for grooms – and I was no exception – as they are often an opportunity
for the best man to embarrass and humiliate the groom with a series of dubious
tales from his past, often embellished, designed to make the groom cringe. I
needn’t have worried. Despite the wealth of material Jason could have drawn on
from the 20 plus years we had known each other, Jason’s speech was warm,
compassionate, heart felt and – above all – very funny. And I have to say that
when I think of Jason now they are exactly the qualities that spring to mind to
describe Jason the person.
In putting this speech together I’ve been gathering together many memories and
stories about Jason from all of his friends. And I should make it clear that
although I’m standing here speaking today, I’m representing the many people who
have known Jason since their schooldays – some of them much longer than I knew
him. Indeed, in one way or another it was Jason who brought all of our group of
friends together. And we remain friends: we’ve been trying to organise a reunion
for some time now; and there is a certain irony that it is Jason – probably the
least organised one of us all! – who has finally succeeded in getting us all
together once again. I shall hand over to Matt Stradling now; who will talk
about some of his memories in a moment, but I just wanted to say that of all
these recollections the overriding sense one gets is of what a fundamentally
nice person Jason was. I know it’s traditional to highlight the good points
about someone at an occasion like this, but I can honestly say – in thinking
about all the years I’ve known Jason, even during the times when he wasn’t so
well – I cannot remember an instance where he was spiteful, nasty or unkind
about anyone. Jason was, quite simply, a genuinely kind and caring person,
despite the difficulties he faced in his life.
[Matt]
So, what memories do I have of Jason McCreight? He was tall. Criminally
tall. And he had really big hands. And feet. And he was great. Criminally tall
and big and great.
I knew of Jason before I even met him. From the age of eight or so, we both
competed in local speech and drama competitions and over the years had become
prepubescent rivals. If I won, he came second. If he won, I denied it and said
that the judge had been confused. I’d never really spoken to him but, to my
eleven-year-old mind, he was the competition.
Then, mid way through secondary school, I got to know him and the competition
had to stop. Because he was, as John’s made very clear, genuinely, ultimately
and comprehensively nice. Even when you really wanted to dislike him you
couldn’t. You could even count on him to be unreliable which meant that he was,
in his own way, quite reliable.
I looked up to him. I measured myself against him. In one way or another I think
we all did.
But, and here's where I got it so wrong and he usually got it right, he didn't
revel in it. He didn't boast or bounce about like a demented hamster in his
success. He smiled and shared his talent and warmth without malice, spite or
self-satisfaction. I didn't always see it and, as some of you may know, I was
distant from a lot of his adult life, but I am the poorer man for it.
And yet how wealthy I am to have known him.
Before I pass back to John, I'll share just one of my memories of Jason with
you, which says something about his wit and, in a way, his kindness. We were
sitting round the kitchen table in Jason's parents' house and Jason had just
told me that his main ambition was be on a poster above every teenage girls'
bed. I asked him what he thought I'd do in the future and he told me, smiling
and full of care, "you'll provide the blu tac".
[John]
And of course I’ve a wealth of memories myself, too numerous to go through
here although I’d like to share a couple of them. There was my wedding day, as I
mentioned, and my stag night. On that particular day I turned up at Jason’s 3rd
floor flat in London to relax and prepare for the evening. Of course with Jason
around it didn’t quite turn out that like – we popped out to get a few beers in
from the local shop, leaving the door on the latch and the window open. It being
a windy day you can probably guess that we returned to a front door which had
blown to and was securely locked from the inside. After half an hour of
wandering the streets we chanced upon a window cleaner and Jason, being the
responsible best man, bribed the window cleaner £10 to borrow his rather rickety
ladder. Unfortunately his sense of responsibility didn’t extend to going up the
ladder himself and there was a brief moment when I found myself hanging by my
fingertips from his window ledge 3 floors up, that I briefly – but only briefly
- considered the wisdom of choosing him as best man.
I also remember when, as school friends, we decided on a whim to go camping in
what we thought was a remote part of Wales. Again, things didn’t go quite a
planned – starting with the fact that Jason – the nominated cook for the week –
forget to pack any food other than a packet of chocolate flavoured weetabix.
Which we lived on for a week, and which I have never eaten since. We also
managed to pitch the tent on top of a badger set on the first night and were
regularly attacked by a three-legged sheep who had obviously taken offence to
our presence. My most vivid memory of that week is us both waking at about 1am
one morning having heard a car engine drive past in the distance. Sat in the
darkness we convinced each other that we were about to be set upon by a band of
murderous Welshmen seeking vulnerable English victims, and attempted to avoid
this by tying the tent zip up with one of Jason’s bootlaces to avoid anyone
getting in. We returned to the relative safety of Nuneaton the next day.
But aside from the memorable stories and funny situations, it’s the less
dramatic memories that really sum Jason up for me. I’ll have fond memories of
the many lunchtimes in London that we spent just having a few drinks, chatting,
watching the world go by and putting it to rights at the same time. It must be
said that those lunchtimes often lasted through the afternoon and occasionally
into the evening too…I’ll miss those times. When I heard the terrible news last
week my first reaction was to call someone up and talk it through with them. But
it was Jason who I’d have wanted to call. So that’s what I’ll miss: whenever I’m
down, or when I see something funny on TV I want to share, or when I just feel
like talking rubbish for a while, I’ll want to call Jason up and I’ll remember
that I can’t, and I’ll miss that. And that’s only right, because the void that
someone leaves at their death is a measure of the impact that they made in life.
As I said at the start of this speech, five years ago Jason was my Best Man. For
many years before and after that he was my best friend too.
If there is an overall point to this speech it’s quite simple...
What has become apparent from speaking to all of his old friends recently is that we loved Jason and we’ll miss him, but we’re grateful for the time that we knew him.
I’m sure everybody here today – and many who aren’t –
will share that sentiment.
Once again, thank you to Jason’s family for giving us all the opportunity to
celebrate Jason’s life today.
